I Did the Best I Could Today

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Motherhood teaches us patience. But I’m no saint. Whining still sounds like nails on a chalkboard and taking my kids out to a restaurant these days would make Bob Ross say some bad words. My patience is a work in progress.

Motherhood teaches us selflessness, but I still wait until the kids go to sleep to eat. I don’t want to share my food! I’ve earned that king sized Kit Kat bar I grabbed on impulse at the gas station. That’s probably the real reason why I can’t lose the baby weight.

Motherhood also teaches us to be more affectionate. That doesn’t mean I want to be the boxing ring for my kids’ fights. Nor do I want to be treated as a jungle gym every time I sit down on the couch.

Motherhood has taught me a great deal of other things, the most important being, “just do your best”. That’s really all you can do.

So here I am, outside,eating a king sized Kit Kat bar because the kids finally went to bed. I did the best I could today. And you did too.

No Mom is an Island, Take the Help

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Credit: pinterest.com

Why do we struggle with asking for help?

There’s absolute truth to “it takes a village”. And I’m thankful for mine. I also understand that some people don’t have the support around them like I do.

It seems like I always need help from my village. And, they’re always willing to help. But, it’s still hard to ask.

When you ask for help, you feel bad because you know that everyone else is busy with their own lives. You feel guilty pulling them away from that, even though they’re more than willing.

You also feel like you should be able to do it all yourself. Everyone else seems to be able to without complaining, so why can’t you?

But no mom is an island. If you are able to reach out to someone close and ask them to do something as simple as hang out with your kid while you take a quick shower, do it! When visitors come over, do things around the house you haven’t had time to do while they visit with the baby. I’ve learned that people aren’t even there to see me anyway, it’s all about the kids! Put your visitors to work too! It’s okay to ask. More often than not, people will be more than happy to help.

Also, if someone OFFERS to help, take them up on it! A meal brought over or a few hours to take a nap is something you should absolutely accept if it’s offered. Don’t feel guilty for it! Those offering know what you’re going through and they WANT to help make your life easier. Let them!

And lastly, if you see someone who may be struggling, reach out. You may feel like you don’t have anything to offer, but sometimes just letting the person know you’re there is enough. A listening ear or an encouraging word can make a difference.

PSA: You Aren’t A Failure For Not Breastfeeding

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Let me say it again for the people in

the back: “YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!”

For some reason, women feel like failures for not breastfeeding. Whether it was by choice or not, it feels like a failure.

Not for me though. I feel absolutely no guilt. I tried. It didn’t work out. End of discussion.

And that reason is good enough. Any reason is good enough. Yet, time and time again you hear and see women say “I feel like such a failure”.

For what? Is your kid starving? Are they not growing, developing, thriving on formula?

Of course your kid isn’t starving! And of course they’re growing, developing, and thriving. Why wouldn’t they? Formula fed babies aren’t any different. So, what’s with the guilt?

You aren’t a failure because your child didn’t breastfeed. And it’s no one’s business why you chose to or not. Your baby is FED, and that’s all that should matter.

I Can’t Judge

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I can’t judge you. So, I’m not going to.

I don’t see your messy hair, or messy house. I’m not worried about your kid’s meltdown. I don’t even care that you’re feeding your kid pizza rolls for lunch.

You know why?

Because that’s me too.

And it’s all of us.

See, we all carry a lot of the same guilt. There are also parents who SEEM to be better than us. But, at the end of the day, if your kid went to bed happy, healthy, and safely, I don’t care how they got there.

My kids got mosquito bites today. But, at least they were playing outside. They had frozen waffles for breakfast, but I’m just happy they ate good.

If we focus too much on being a perfect parent, we’ll miss out on our kids growing up. Our parents weren’t perfect, and neither are we. We just have to do our best and hope for the best.

If You Wanna Hear God Laugh Tell Him Your Plans

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“If you wanna hear God laugh tell him your plans.”- Van Zandt

That pretty much summed up my pregnancy.

You see, I wasn’t planning to be a mom. I was perfectly happy being the fun aunt. I didn’t babysit often, I wasn’t maternal, and I was always happy to send my friends’ kids back when they started screaming.

Then I got pregnant.

I love my kids more than anything. For 19 months and two weeks they have been my life.

Were they planned? No. But, were they meant to be? ABSOLUTELY! And, I was meant to be their mama.

When I found out I was having twins I had no business having kids. I was a mess. I was too blinded by my own selfish wants to see that my mama, and Journey, were right all along: “you can’t always get what you want, you get what you need.”

On November 10, 2017, I became a mama. That was also the day I started becoming a better person.

To look back on the immature and selfish person I was, I don’t even recognize her anymore.

Now I understand what people mean when they say their kids saved them. Mine saved me. They were the kick in the ass I needed to finally grow up.

I’m more laid back now, more open minded. And I’ve tried and done so many new things. If I’m going to lead by example then the example I’m leading with is one that is strong, unstoppable, fearless.

Thanks to my kids I’m finally the force to be reckoned with that I’m supposed to be.

I’m Not Sad at Bedtime

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It sounds horrible, but I’m not.  I love my kids, but by the time it’s bedtime, my brain is fried.  I NEED bedtime. I need the moment of silence for all the brain cells that died during the day.

My day starts at 6:30 a.m. and ends when I go to bed.  The small window of time between their bedtime and mine is precious.  Some nights I get more done than others, but one thing is for sure, I like it as quiet as possible.

Toddlers are tiny tornadoes.  When you have twin tornadoes, you know nothing but chaos.  Between work, raising the tiny tornadoes, and trying to find time to eat, shower, and keep the house from looking like an episode of “Hoarders”, my mind moves at a million miles an hour.  I’m always in a rush, yet running late. It’s a lot! So, I now cherish and appreciate the moments of silence that I get in the evenings.

You don’t really realize just how hard you’ve been going all day until the last Ric Flair “Whoooo” is hollered from a crib and the kids finally give up and go to sleep.  It’s like slamming on the brakes. You take that deep breath, take inventory of what did and didn’t survive the storm of the day, and you decide whether to ignore it, drink a glass of wine, go to bed, and try again tomorrow, or tackle it head on.  Hey, what’s one more task on the end of your thousand mile long to-do list?

How we spend our moment of silence isn’t important.  What’s important is that we have that moment. Whether you read, clean, or just sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the wall, all that matters is that you got to unwind.

Before the kids, I didn’t like silence.  Silence was boring. Now, I appreciate it for what it is.  It’s an opportunity to collect my thoughts. It’s a chance to take a minute for myself, to remember to breathe.  It’s peace. And, it’s knowing that we’ve all survived another day.

I Should Be Sleeping

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It’s 2:30 in the morning and I should be sleeping. But, I can’t.

If I’m being honest, a lot of my lack of sleep these days comes from my own doing.

When the house gets quiet, my thoughts get louder.

Sometimes I can’t get to sleep, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake for hours.

My brain just doesn’t want to stop sometimes. I don’t understand why I need to lay here and cringe about something embarrassing that happened to me years ago. Or why I need to shop on Amazon.

I don’t understand why my mom guilt creeps in. Wondering if I’ve somehow managed to ruin my kids because I didn’t coddle them enough when they skinned their knee. Even though they stopped crying seconds after it happened. And vowing to be a better mother tomorrow.

I know I’m a good mother. I’m the one who was chosen because the Lord knew I could. And I know I can too. He will not let me fail.

But sometimes late at night, doubt creeps in.

When you become a parent, it’s like you suddenly set an impossibly high bar for yourself. You want to give your kids the BEST life possible. But, all your kids need is for you to just do your best.

When you’re lying there in the middle of the night, though, thoughts of your failures as a parent start to flood your mind. Is my very best enough?

We have to retrain our thinking in these moments. We have to remind ourselves of our successes when thoughts of our failures try to take over.

Instead of, “the house is a wreck”, we should think, “it was fun watching the kids laughing and playing outside”.

18+ years is a long time to worry ourselves and lose sleep over every tiny little hiccup. Our kids have certainly not given it a second thought. We are doing our best. As long as we do that, we have nothing to worry about.

10 Parenting Lessons I’ve Learned That No One Told Me About

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We’ve been at this parenting thing for a year and a half now. I’ve learned a few things. The hard way, of course, but you probably did too.

So here’s what I’ve learned so far:

  • My kids are awfully picky eaters for people who will fight you over a two day old Cheerio they found under the couch.

  • Eat when the kids are asleep, you won’t have to share your food that way.

  • If you brag about how well behaved your kids are being in public lately, WHILE in public, they will instantly form a riot and try to burn the place to the ground.

  • If you are in public alone and hear a child pitch a fit, you praise the Lord it’s not yours.

  • If all else fails, just sit down and cry with them. It’ll either make you feel better or they’ll stop crying because they think you’re insane. Win-win.

  • If they halfway wake up or you’re trying to move from room to room without them raising hell, don’t make eye contact. The second you lock eyes, it’s over, you’ve been busted.

  • You have to pick your battles. Those battles include the one you have with yourself on whether you want to hear screaming or Mother Goose Club for the thousandth time. Mother Goose Club will probably win, but not by a landslide.

  • If you get them used to noise early, they’ll sleep through a hurricane.

  • You can clean up anything with baby wipes.

  • Remember to laugh. The only way to make it through the craziness is to laugh until it hurts.

Check on your parents of toddlers, we are not okay!

My Kids Bring Out My Inner Redneck

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I grew up in a tiny town.  When the kids were almost 4 months old, we moved to a slightly larger small town.  This is small town North Carolina, mind you.

My neck has always been a little red.  I listen to country, we have deer heads hanging on the living room wall, and I’ll always pick Ford in the ol Ford vs. Chevy argument.  That’s how I roll, it is what it is, whatever.

But, something about being a mom really brings out my inner redneck.  It’s like, you can’t hide who you really are when you’re in survival mode.

Let me tell you a story (it’s a short one, I promise): we’re outside, kids are running around, expending energy, just being your regular, run of the mill hellions.  The whole time this is going on, I’m running around after them hollering “y’all get over here!” or “that ain’t your yard!” (they like to run through our next door neighbor’s front yard).

Y’all, it’s nothing for me to be carrying a kicking and screaming kid into the house, because they weren’t ready to go inside yet, while the neighbor kid stares on in horror.

 If there’s one thing I know, it’s that my kids bring out my inner redneck. It seems like every sentence out of my mouth is a Southern-ism.

Lawd, it’s crazy.

Moral of the story is: your kids bring out your truth.  I’m a redneck mama, I can’t hide it. There’s a good chance you’ll see me barefoot outside chasing a kid or telling the little stinkers to “come here and give mama some sugar”.  It’s who I am. My twins helped me really learn my truth.

Listen to ya mama!

Pregnancy Brain Doesn’t End With Pregnancy

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I swear people probably think I’m an airhead.  I can’t blame them. I can be in the middle of a story and forget what I was even talking about.  I go into rooms and forget what I went in there for. My brain completely poops itself. It’s insane!

Turns out, pregnancy brain doesn’t end with pregnancy.  Somebody throw that bit of information into a parenting book.  The author probably just forgot.

I am always multi tasking, it seems.  There’s not enough time in the day. Between that, keeping everyone alive, and a general lack of sleep, some things I do just don’t make sense.

You ever put the milk in the pantry? #same

What about looking all over for your cell phone only for it to be in your back pocket?  I see you nodding your head!

Forget to shave the other leg this morning?  Been there, done that!

It happens to the best of us.  In fact, I think it’s worse after pregnancy.  Part of your memory had to be sacrificed. Rest in peace, brain cells.

So, anyway, what was I saying?

Oh yea, hug ya mama and apologize for making fun of her when she called you every sibling and pet’s name until she finally got it right.  She can’t help it, she just has a lot on her mind.

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