twinmom Archives - Mom Buns and Moscato

It’s 2:30 in the morning and I should be sleeping. But, I can’t.

If I’m being honest, a lot of my lack of sleep these days comes from my own doing.

When the house gets quiet, my thoughts get louder.

Sometimes I can’t get to sleep, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and stay awake for hours.

My brain just doesn’t want to stop sometimes. I don’t understand why I need to lay here and cringe about something embarrassing that happened to me years ago. Or why I need to shop on Amazon.

I don’t understand why my mom guilt creeps in. Wondering if I’ve somehow managed to ruin my kids because I didn’t coddle them enough when they skinned their knee. Even though they stopped crying seconds after it happened. And vowing to be a better mother tomorrow.

I know I’m a good mother. I’m the one who was chosen because the Lord knew I could. And I know I can too. He will not let me fail.

But sometimes late at night, doubt creeps in.

When you become a parent, it’s like you suddenly set an impossibly high bar for yourself. You want to give your kids the BEST life possible. But, all your kids need is for you to just do your best.

When you’re lying there in the middle of the night, though, thoughts of your failures as a parent start to flood your mind. Is my very best enough?

We have to retrain our thinking in these moments. We have to remind ourselves of our successes when thoughts of our failures try to take over.

Instead of, “the house is a wreck”, we should think, “it was fun watching the kids laughing and playing outside”.

18+ years is a long time to worry ourselves and lose sleep over every tiny little hiccup. Our kids have certainly not given it a second thought. We are doing our best. As long as we do that, we have nothing to worry about.

I have a lot of gray hair for a 29 year old. I also have twin toddlers, so I don’t stand a chance .

Here they are, being all small and sweet.

I always say the kids are trying to put me in an early grave. I’ve tried to stall their efforts by telling them to wait until we have nicer things. It doesn’t seem like they’re listening.

They’re so resilient, kids are. If I wipe out on the floor, I’m crippled for the next month. But, if my kid wipes out, they just get up and take off running again.

Toddlers aren’t for the faint of heart. Especially when you have a climber. My precious baby boy lives every day like he’s climbing Mt. Everest. He can’t help himself. He has to climb. It’s amazing how fast he can move. Blink and he’ll be standing on the kitchen table. I nearly have a heart attack everyday.

Attitudes? Oh man, they’re the worst! Nothing gives you a reality check like hearing your sweet baby girl yell “No!” at you, for the first time. Like, I was stunned. I didn’t want to believe my ears. Whooooooo did she think she was talking to?! Surely, not me!

My daughter? Oh, yea, she’s the sassiest. Yes, she’s probably sassier than your kid. In fact, I’m almost certain. She’s a walking Festivus, always airing out her grievances. You’ll never have to wonder where you stand with her.

These kids keep me on my toes, with each phase bringing a new challenge. Somehow, I feel like they’ll always be trying to put me in an early grave.

Follow me on Facebook: @mombunsandmoscato!