10 Parenting Lessons I’ve Learned That No One Told Me About

Posted on May 31, 2019October 1, 2019 by admin

We’ve been at this parenting thing for a year and a half now. I’ve learned a few things. The hard way, of course, but you probably did too.

So here’s what I’ve learned so far:

My kids are awfully picky eaters for people who will fight you over a two day old Cheerio they found under the couch.
Eat when the kids are asleep, you won’t have to share your food that way.
If you brag about how well behaved your kids are being in public lately, WHILE in public, they will instantly form a riot and try to burn the place to the ground.
If you are in public alone and hear a child pitch a fit, you praise the Lord it’s not yours.
If all else fails, just sit down and cry with them. It’ll either make you feel better or they’ll stop crying because they think you’re insane. Win-win.
If they halfway wake up or you’re trying to move from room to room without them raising hell, don’t make eye contact. The second you lock eyes, it’s over, you’ve been busted.
You have to pick your battles. Those battles include the one you have with yourself on whether you want to hear screaming or Mother Goose Club for the thousandth time. Mother Goose Club will probably win, but not by a landslide.
If you get them used to noise early, they’ll sleep through a hurricane.
You can clean up anything with baby wipes.
Remember to laugh. The only way to make it through the craziness is to laugh until it hurts.

Check on your parents of toddlers, we are not okay!

My Kids Bring Out My Inner Redneck

Posted on May 30, 2019May 30, 2019 by admin

I grew up in a tiny town. When the kids were almost 4 months old, we moved to a slightly larger small town. This is small town North Carolina, mind you.

My neck has always been a little red. I listen to country, we have deer heads hanging on the living room wall, and I’ll always pick Ford in the ol Ford vs. Chevy argument. That’s how I roll, it is what it is, whatever.

But, something about being a mom really brings out my inner redneck. It’s like, you can’t hide who you really are when you’re in survival mode.

Let me tell you a story (it’s a short one, I promise): we’re outside, kids are running around, expending energy, just being your regular, run of the mill hellions. The whole time this is going on, I’m running around after them hollering “y’all get over here!” or “that ain’t your yard!” (they like to run through our next door neighbor’s front yard).

Y’all, it’s nothing for me to be carrying a kicking and screaming kid into the house, because they weren’t ready to go inside yet, while the neighbor kid stares on in horror.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s that my kids bring out my inner redneck. It seems like every sentence out of my mouth is a Southern-ism.

Lawd, it’s crazy.

Moral of the story is: your kids bring out your truth. I’m a redneck mama, I can’t hide it. There’s a good chance you’ll see me barefoot outside chasing a kid or telling the little stinkers to “come here and give mama some sugar”. It’s who I am. My twins helped me really learn my truth.

Pregnancy Brain Doesn’t End With Pregnancy

Posted on May 28, 2019May 29, 2019 by admin

I swear people probably think I’m an airhead. I can’t blame them. I can be in the middle of a story and forget what I was even talking about. I go into rooms and forget what I went in there for. My brain completely poops itself. It’s insane!

Turns out, pregnancy brain doesn’t end with pregnancy. Somebody throw that bit of information into a parenting book. The author probably just forgot.

I am always multi tasking, it seems. There’s not enough time in the day. Between that, keeping everyone alive, and a general lack of sleep, some things I do just don’t make sense.

You ever put the milk in the pantry? #same

What about looking all over for your cell phone only for it to be in your back pocket? I see you nodding your head!

Forget to shave the other leg this morning? Been there, done that!

It happens to the best of us. In fact, I think it’s worse after pregnancy. Part of your memory had to be sacrificed. Rest in peace, brain cells.

So, anyway, what was I saying?

Oh yea, hug ya mama and apologize for making fun of her when she called you every sibling and pet’s name until she finally got it right. She can’t help it, she just has a lot on her mind.

Follow me on Facebook: @mombunsandmoscato!

My Kids Are Trying to Put Me in An Early Grave

Posted on May 24, 2019May 29, 2019 by admin

I have a lot of gray hair for a 29 year old. I also have twin toddlers, so I don’t stand a chance .

Here they are, being all small and sweet.

I always say the kids are trying to put me in an early grave. I’ve tried to stall their efforts by telling them to wait until we have nicer things. It doesn’t seem like they’re listening.

They’re so resilient, kids are. If I wipe out on the floor, I’m crippled for the next month. But, if my kid wipes out, they just get up and take off running again.

Toddlers aren’t for the faint of heart. Especially when you have a climber. My precious baby boy lives every day like he’s climbing Mt. Everest. He can’t help himself. He has to climb. It’s amazing how fast he can move. Blink and he’ll be standing on the kitchen table. I nearly have a heart attack everyday.

Attitudes? Oh man, they’re the worst! Nothing gives you a reality check like hearing your sweet baby girl yell “No!” at you, for the first time. Like, I was stunned. I didn’t want to believe my ears. Whooooooo did she think she was talking to?! Surely, not me!

My daughter? Oh, yea, she’s the sassiest. Yes, she’s probably sassier than your kid. In fact, I’m almost certain. She’s a walking Festivus, always airing out her grievances. You’ll never have to wonder where you stand with her.

These kids keep me on my toes, with each phase bringing a new challenge. Somehow, I feel like they’ll always be trying to put me in an early grave.

Follow me on Facebook: @mombunsandmoscato!

This. You’re Gonna Miss This.

Posted on May 22, 2019May 29, 2019 by admin

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re going to miss the sleepless nights, the messy house, and the teething. You know why?

Because, one day, they’ll suddenly be graduating high school. You’ll ask yourself how so much time has passed since those sleepless nights that you rocked your baby to sleep.

You’ll miss the messy house when they get their first home. It will feel like it was just last week that you were all moving into your first home. And it will feel like just yesterday when you chose to play with them instead of picking up around that house. How did time slip away like that?

You’ll miss the tantrums. You’ll miss them when you realize that they’ve become adults who can communicate their anger. When did that happen?!

The teething? Yep, you’ll miss that too. Those memories will come flooding back at your child’s baby shower for their own baby. You’ll watch them open their gifts and it’ll hit you when they receive a gift of teething toys. Can my baby possibly be having a baby?!

In the moment, these things feel impossible. But, it isn’t forever. One day, your baby will be grown. All the laughing, dancing, and singing that happened between the tantrums and the fights during those toddler years will be memories. So, dance to the music, take all the hugs, and appreciate all those little moments.